Home | Donate Now | FAQ en Español | Tell a Friend |

In their own words
Katherine Smith

Katherine Smith graduated from Brown University in 2002 with a bachelor's degree in English and History. Last June, she completed her second year teaching 4th grade at Matty Akin Elementary in the Mississippi Delta.

September 5, 2003

Jamol Williams is a striking little boy. He catches your eye almost immediately. His eyes are disproportionately large for his head and he is by far the shortest fourth grader at Matty Akin Elementary. In short, he is adorable.

When Jamol first stepped into my classroom a month ago I didn't question how well he would do this year. His test scores showed that he is capable, his previous teachers complimented him, and his diagnostics revealed that he is an average student. He was respectful, mature and driven.

However, there has recently been a noticeable change. Jamol frequently serves Friday detention, he never completes his homework, always citing a litany of excuses, he has become rude and uncooperative and he is now in danger of failing the fourth grade. My frustration with him has mounted, the standard I had held him to at the outset has fallen and I shamelessly love the days when he is marked absent.

November 17, 2003

Today, Jamol was so disruptive to our class that I sent him out of the room to reflect on his behavior. He is asked to answer this question: "Discuss in a one page essay why you are throwing your education away. Why are you choosing to be disrespectful and break the rules?" He writes the following in response:

"I don't have to try to be something I'm not. In this class we have to be excellent. I'm just being average. I'm just being plain old Jamol Chris Williams. I don't care if I go to the office for doing this. I'm just doing what's right for me. So Ms. Smith if you want to call my dad, my mom my auntie or anyone else I would still be myself and not be something I'm not. So I hope you heard me clear because that's just what I meant."

I can't seem to penetrate his anger, his willingness to just be average and his compliance to fail. Ms. Tullson, a co-teacher and mentor, is a woman born and raised in the Delta. She is equally distraught with Jamol's attitude. I seek her help and wisdom and she in turn speaks with Jamol. Evidently she knows the right thing to say. He rewrites his response:

"I try to do what's right. I make good grades. I make my parents proud. I don't know why I have a bad temper. I've had this problem ever since 1st grade. I think this is where I stop it. I just learned something from someone and it was: you don't do what you want to do you do what God wants you to do. It's either God's way or no way. So I promise not to throw away my good education."

I am not a religious person and had never thought to incorporate religion into my classroom management technique. I am almost jealous that this woman could reach him with words I would never think to utter. However, it is now obvious that I will have to go to great lengths to reach Jamol, and it will be necessary to utilize every resource available.

May 25th, 2004

Throughout this year I have challenged myself not to give up on Jamol. When he provided an excuse, I worked to help him find the cause and a possible solution. I drove his homework to his mother's dress store when he forgot his books at school. I called his father's cell phone every time he came in with an incomplete assignment and I asked his father to provide a reason.

I held him in from certain specials — art, P.E., computer — and he willingly conceded his recess so I could catch him up on material he had not yet mastered. I scheduled a conference with his mother when his behavior dropped again. Amidst their tears, Jamol recognized his anger and irresponsibility. He tried to defend his behavior by honestly disclosing what had been resting on his mind. His home life was not as stable as I had inaccurately assumed. Not knowing quite what to do or say, I just showed my support for them both and managed to convince Jamol that I care.

At this point, Jamol has made significant gains. Jamol is one of three students in the entire school to score 100 Accelerated Reader points. When another student does not understand a concept, he is the first to try to help and explain. He becomes the first one to model my expectations. When his seat partner is slouching, he sits especially straight. If the class becomes too noisy, he asks them to quiet down.

It is the last day of the year. When students have to fill out a self and class evaluation, Jamol does so and then asks to share his response. When answering the question, "Who are you and what do you want," Jamol stands before the class and speaks the class creed, a motto that as a class we have recited daily to reinforce the notion of excellence, but that Jamol had been hesitant to speak at the outset. On this day he speaks it with conviction. Proudly he states:

"I am a scholar. I am here to be all that I can be. I will be proactive about my destiny because I am destined for greatness. I am self-determined, self-motivated and self-generated. I am special. The most important person is me, the most important time is now and the most important thing on this earth is to do good. Everything in life is a choice and I choose to be excellent. It is my birthright. I am excellence."

This experience is not about the small moments when you may fall and say or do something you wish you hadn't, it is about the larger moments when you realize that your students are bright, hilarious, charming, affectionate people filled with the utmost potential.

Note: Some names have been changed in order to protect the privacy of individuals.

back to top